We all have them. Whether it’s people handling your miniatures without asking, or pushing a rule to it’s extreme limits and generally being “cheesy” in an otherwise friendly game, pet peeves are something we all tolerate on a regular basis. I’ll list a few of mine here, but would love to hear what strange occurrences get under your skin while hobbying! This isn’t a way to out people or start a witch-hunt, but rather an introspective look at why I get so worked up over toy solders.
1. Not having their rulebook during a game.
If you’re solely relying on Battlescribe to get your entire army information from, I’m straight up not having a good time. If we’re friends, and we play frequently together, this obviously isn’t an issue – but if it’s a pick-up game, and you just need me to accept that what you’re saying is correct, it puts me in a weird spot. Have your rulebook, produce rules if questions arise and, you know, play the game!
2. Being an absolute turd and cheesing up the rules.
Any time someone insists you can fight four ranks deep in melee with Orks, Nids, etc. I lose my absolute fucking mind. Even three ranks is grossly pushing those limits of cheddar cheese in my humble opinion.
Yes, I know the 25mm bases are less than an inch. I know that this means the second rank is technically within 1″, thus meaning that an additional two ranks 1″ away satisfies four ranks being 1″ within 1″.
The math works. I know the argument. The bases are, after all, less than one inch wide.
But did you know that allowance of the base being “less than an inch” is 0.4mm? That’s less than half of a millimeter. LESS THAN HALF. OF A MILLIMETER. Sure, if you managed to literally get all of your bases touching with absolutely zero gap between them, I’m cool with it. But with Genestealer arms, Ork weaponry, even guardsmen’s lasguns all pushing around in there, I sincerely doubt you’re maintaining that 0.4mm threshold across multiple ranks.
Are the people that insist this scrutiny of numbers means that additional ranks can fight also being so exacting in measuring ranges for weapons and movement? The answer is generally no. Movement is often shuffled rounding to the flat inch, no one quibbles over 0.4mm while moving their Orks or they’d be called an asshole. Can you imagine someone measuring each and every model in a 30-man unit to be sure not a single one accidentally went 0.4mm farther than the 6″ allowed during movement? Of course not, that game would be miserable. And for those doing the math at home, that’s worrying about 0.003% of the distance; three thousandths of a percent. But it’s suddenly an issue for melee, when those 400 micrometers really matter. This is the definition of cheese, you can’t cherry-pick when to apply scrutiny.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
3. Lack of humility.
Did you win a game? Be proud, bask in the glory of victory! But don’t gloat, stay humble. Do you have 8,000 Instagram followers? Who cares, you’re still the same nerdy dude who had 4 followers (thanks, mom) three years ago. We’re all equal shareholders in this hobby, and should let everyone enjoy their own part of it without self-important grandstanding. This also means you shouldn’t interject yourself into someone else’s game to offer unasked for advice. Do you fancy yourself a much better player than the player you’re trying to help? Let the guy play the game unless help is explicitly asked for, even if they’re getting their ass kicked! The bottom line here is to know your place – mind your own business and never presume you’re better than anyone else. This doesn’t mean you can’t genuinely help folks, which is wholly encouraged. Just know how to teach for the sake of instructing, and not use it as a power-trip.
Speaking of humility, did you know I’m selling stickers and T-Shirts with my branding all over it?! Buy one (or three) and support my school club and my hobby efforts here!
4. When dice fall off the table.
Aggressive rollers really bother me. There’s twenty four square feet of surface to roll on, how did you miss?